Multiply Your Personalities

Everyone has multiple personalities and one way to acquire these split personalities is through music. As displayed by the poster, hearing music allows one to “multiply your inner rock star”. Inevitably, music is the key in multiplying your personalities. For instance, listening to rock music can give you a rock star mentality. You might be saying phrases like “t-t-t-totally dude!!!!” or makes you want to party like a rock star. Trashing hotel rooms and smashing guitars is what you will be thinking of. Another form of personality that can be formed through music is hip-hop. It might turn you into a gangster or some call it “gangsta”. This form of personality can lead to one wearing baggy clothing and wear the bling bling. You get caught up in making sure your clothes and rides are always staying “fresh”. Next thing you know, you are becoming the next 50 Cent. BALLIN! As they like to call it in the hip-hop world which means living a life of extreme wealth and flaunting it. The last personality that can be developed is through country. Sometimes this makes you want to wear a cowboy hat while riding a horse into the sunset. You want to go to a good old fashion hoedown after you have just finished that showdown with you arch nemesis. Next thing you know, instead of saying hi or hello you are saying howdy. Picking the music you listen to is like picking the personality you want. The key thing to remember is to personally pick your personality privately.

Profile

Person A: Female, mob boss, cigar smoker, non-religious, two children, arrogant, homophobic; favourite word: homo.
Person B: Male, Buddhist, serious, outgoing, does yoga, anti-violence, homosexual, monk; favourite word: righteous.
Time/Place/Period: Buddhist temple, spring, year 2000, Beijing, China.
Situation: Female arrives at Buddhist temple with mother to watch her pray.

Beijing, China. Hometown of the 'azn mobsters'. And Ling Ling, their leader.
" This is fa kin su pah! Another day at Temple with motha. I must lei low so nobody see me." Ling murmured.
In walked a man with Ling's mother.
" Ling, kum hia now! I want you to meet Mr. Quest," shouted Ling's mom.
Disconsolate Ling Ling shuffled over to greet this man, who already agitated her with his glistening rainbow tie. A proud homosexual. In other words, Ling's worst nightmare.
" Pleasure to meet you Ms. Ling, and how are you today?"
" Dum fuk, I'm great."
" I beg your pardon? I must have misheard what you said."
" Sum ting wong with hearing? I said I'm great."
" Oh well, that's wonderful, isn't this a splendid temple?"
" Why so dim in hea?"
" Well, it helps set the mood and gives your eyes a chance to relax from the blaring lights of the world."
" Ai must go now, motha you cum or not?"Ling was determined to get out in time as her employees were growing vehement in need of their next missions. She couldn't risk leaving her car in the parking lot with all the goods, unsupervised, either.
" What's the rush. Stay and enjoy."
" Yu stinki pu, I say I go now! I need to wash cah." Ling replied, growing with intolerance for Mr. Quest as she pulled out a cigarette to munch on.
" Ling! Wai yu munching! No good for health!" Bellowed her mother.
" I am getting out of hea, away from you and this fat man."
" You know Ling, a very wise man once said, "We can see, so we are always blind to things deeper than skin," and you must realize.."
Quest attempted to explain to Ling.
" Your chin too fat! So, don't quote me anyting. And I go now!"
Ignorant and bitter Ling stormed, at supersonic speed, out of the temple, towards her BMW Z4. Deciding to leave town forever without return, she bawlled, " Motha you take care of rugrats, I leave you! I can't live with you no more and your religious ways! You and fat man be happy."
And that was the last anyone saw of Ling Ling...

Slang: An (RE)EV(DE)VOLUTION in Language?? A “Business” Journey to America

A businessman that was born in China decided to come to America to expand his bank account and find new job opportunities. He hopped on the next flight to America, brought one suitcase and a knot of money. He was pretty fluent with the language known as Chinglish, so he felt like he would be able to communicate with the Americans. The moment he landed he was swarmed by many obese Americans holding a Pepsi in one hand with French fries in the other. He found this to be extremely disgusting, especially with the grease dripping from their hands. After that awful experience at the airport, he decided to do parergon to make a little extra money. He decided to do an archaeological dig because he thought there were some valuable findings in America. He than hired a small army of trowel fodder to work on the site, and of course no set of workers would be complete without a couple poot butts. He worked them like dogs and he was ruthless towards them feeling that the only way to earn money is through hard work. The businessman also stepped in to help thinking that the only way to get something done is to do it by himself. The sun was beaming down on the workers and sweat was dripping from their faces and water seemed to be scarce at the moment. They were digging for what seemed to be an eternity, but never found anything of value. The workers felt like they were the slaves at the desert. At this point, there seemed like there was no hope for this archaeological dig to be successful until the businessman ran across a bluebird. This bluebird was willing to buy this entire work site from the businessman because he thought that this working site was filled with long lost treasures. The businessman lied to the bluebird, telling him that there are a lot of treasures here. The businessman than came to the realization that hard work only gets you so far and that you will always need to lie to someone to get what you want. This was the American dream to the businessman born in China.

Two Sentences

Hey! Y’all gonna tell me who stole my dang pitch fork?

Stop stalling and cough it up cause I’m gunnin' for ya.